Monday, February 28, 2005
The hidden room

There was once a boy, who lived in a castle. A magnificent castle of white.

The castle, it had wonderful gardens, with flowers, fountains and the most exquisite scultures not to be seen for a thousand miles. In those gardens, the little boy forlicked together with his little friends. They laughed and they played, with not a care in the world.

One day, they all agreed, the castle was too small, and the little children, they went to play outside. Outside where the woners of the world enthralled their hearts. One by one, they all wandered off, not leaving with one farewell.

One by one, till only 2 remained.

Still, they led their carefree lives, untilone day, came a staranger at the door. The bioy was intrigued, though not his 2 friends. Against their advice, he let her in. They had fun for a while, and he forgot his two friends. Till, she ransacked the castle, and left .

The boy cried, for days and nights, till he saw a hankerchief, held out by his 2 friends. The had not left. So the little boy locked up that castle of his, afraid of anymore thieves. The only keys he forged, he gave to the 2.

The catle walls turned black, and cold, the woods around all turned black, and he forged a 3rd key, and also the 4th. He made several others, but they were all broken before he gave them away.

Then the people started to build their village around those walls, encroaching into the hallowed grounds. The boy had did not like that. He thus put up even stronger defences, magical glyps, moats, monsters, and traps, just so the people will not stray into his castle.

He wanted to open the gates, and so he did.

Gavin pondered @ 22:52

Feel cold.

He walked aross the brown tiled floor, hands in his pockets. Hands in his pocket for warmth, for any warmth was desperately sought for. The air was still and calm, but he coul feel this chilly day.

he felt it in his fingers, he felt it in his body. Numb.

Shivering as he moved, he felt cold. So cold.

In his head, he wondered. "Bugger, they set the air-conditioning too cold."

Gavin pondered @ 12:17

Sunday, February 27, 2005
Haru no ugoku shiro

"Howl's Moving Castle", a delightfully entertaining movie from the makers of "Spirited Away". If I were to judge, I would even go as far as saying it surpassed it's predecessor.

I'm sure my companion for the day agrees on that. It's hard to find fault with a movie as funny, as touching, and filled with as many colorful chracters as this.

Though I cannot say the same for my lunch. Maybe it's just a bad choice as Mei pointed out.


But that's just a small problem. The more pretinent quandary lies in my unconcious and gradual drift away from people. Why am I having problems trying to connect to people? I want to communicate, I want to interact, but I fall so short.

My defence? To show concern to the tiniest of details and to my friends well being, and doing only just that.

I don't know how to socialize anymore. Maybe I shan't.

Today's just a bad day. Yeah, that must be it. The stars are misaligned this day.

Gavin pondered @ 17:21

Corpse Bride

The movie maestro Tim Burton has come up with yet another animation feature due this Halloween. It is titled Corpse Bride, with sets vaguely reminiscent of Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas.

Be sure to expect the wit. the humour and the splendor that is Burton's signature, and more prominently, the pairing of Burton with one Johnny Depp.

Not to forget Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate factory due the same year, with Depp as Mr. WIlly Wonka.

This is indeed an exciting, no exhilarating year.

Corpse Bride
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Edit 0120H:

The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy movie will be out in may!! Woot!
Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy

Movies to watch list

March:
Hitch
APril:
Nil
May:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
June:
War of the Worlds
July:
Charlie and The Chocolate Factory
August:
The Weather Man
September:
Nil
OCtober:
Corpse Birde
November:
Nil
December:
Nil

Gavin pondered @ 00:18

Saturday, February 26, 2005
For mindless fun

Go catch Team America: World Police.

Pure brainless laughs, I assure you it's lame, dumb and ultimately hilarious. all from the makers of southpark.

Disclaimer: People objecting to puppet sex and fans of Kim Jung Ill will be well advised to avoid the movie.

Gavin pondered @ 20:09

Friday, February 25, 2005
Bloody moon

Tonight, the doomsday cultists became a veryhappy group of people. You see, there was a moon, a scarlet moon in the velvet night. An ominous symbol these men have been waiting for centuries to arrive.

Though I believe the phenomena is more likely to be caused by the soot in the air, and the smoke from all the bsush fires. Darned drought.

But what a beautiful night it was to ride through the streets. Winds blowing, and the scarlet sphere to illuminate the path. It is not often one gets this sense of awe and serenity. The gloom of the red moon washing away the noise of the world, restoring if just for a moment, the tranquility and peace that ought to be.

Silent night hung the bloody moon
The lone figure graces the shadows
Lasting peace, though lasting but a moment
A moment in the eyes of a life
But suffice reprieve for the rider
On his trusty steed
Through the rampant chaos
The burden of the mortal woes
Skowly he rides
Quietly into the silent night

How can one not feel poetic on such a night?

Gavin pondered @ 23:40

Thursday, February 24, 2005

On the way to the cookhouse, Daniel asked me, "Why do always get arrowed to do stuff?"

I answered " I happened to be there and the picked me."

That's a lie. I volunteered.

Something is definitely amiss here. Why avoid the truth when the truth is simple and better? It's rather unbecoming of a young adult to do this, especially when it seems to be developing into a bad habit.

Gavin pondered @ 21:18

Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Jung Typology test

Stole this off tfaduh's blog. =p

Your Type is
INFP

Introverted	Intuitive	Feeling	Perceiving
Strength of the preferences %
67	38	38	11

INFP type description by D.Keirsey
INFP type description by J. Butt


Qualitative analysis of your type formula
You are:

• distinctively expressed introvert
  
• moderately expressed intuitive personality
  
• moderately expressed feeling personality
  
• slightly expressed perceiving personality

The Portrait of the Healer Idealist (iNFp)

Healer Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in striving for their ends, and informative and introverted in their interpersonal relations. Healer present a seemingly tranquil, and noticiably pleasant face to the world, and though to all appearances they might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved, having a capacity for caring not always found in other types. They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a few special persons or a favorite cause, and their fervent aim is to bring peace and integrity to their loved ones and the world.

Healers have a profound sense of idealism derived from a strong personal morality, and they conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place. Indeed, to understand Healers, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The Healer is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith, like Sir Galahad or Joan of Arc. Healers are found in only 1 percent of the general population, although, at times, their idealism leaves them feeling even more isolated from the rest of humanity.

Healers seek unity in their lives, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect, perhaps because they are likely to have a sense of inner division threaded through their lives, which comes from their often unhappy childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood, which, unfortunately, is discouraged or even punished by many parents. In a practical-minded family, required by their parents to be sociable and industrious in concrete ways, and also given down-to-earth siblings who conform to these parental expectations, Healers come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. Other types usually shrug off parental expectations that do not fit them, but not the Healers. Wishing to please their parents and siblings, but not knowing quite how to do it, they try to hide their differences, believing they are bad to be so fanciful, so unlike their more solid brothers and sisters. They wonder, some of them for the rest of their lives, whether they are OK. They are quite OK, just different from the rest of their family-swans reared in a family of ducks. Even so, to realize and really believe this is not easy for them. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, Healers can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. Healers are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with the profane, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when Healers believe thay have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the Healer, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public.

INFP Profile

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

by Joe Butt

Profile: INFP
Revision: 2.4
Date of Revision: 20 Jul 03

---

"I remember the first albatross I ever saw. ... At intervals, it arched forth its vast archangel wings, as if to embrace some holy ark. Wondrous flutterings and throbbings shook it. Though bodily unharmed, it uttered cries, as some king's ghost in super natural distress. Through its inexpressible, strange eyes, methought I peeped to secrets not below the heavens. As Abraham before the angels, I bowed myself..." --(Herman Melville, Moby Dick)

INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glass world where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualitie s.

INFP children often exhibit this in a 'Calvin and Hobbes' fashion, switching from reality to fantasy and back again. With few exceptions, it is the NF child who readily develops imaginary playmates (as with Anne of Green Gables's "bookcase girlfriend"--h er own reflection) and whose stuffed animals come to life like the Velveteen Rabbit and the Skin Horse:

"...Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand..." (the Skin Horse)

INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. Even for the most unlovable the INFP is wont to have pity.

Rest you, my enemy,
Slain without fault,
Life smacks but tastelessly
Lacking your salt!
Stuck in a bog whence naught
May catapult me,
Come from the grave, long-sought,
Come and insult me!."
--(Steven Vincent Benet, Elegy for an Enemy)

Their extreme depth of feeling is often hidden, even from themselves, until circumstances evoke an impassioned response:

"I say, Queequeg! Why don't you speak? It's I--Ishmael." But all remained still as before. ... Something must have happened. Apoplexy!
... And running up after me, she caught me as I was again trying to force open the door. ... "Have to burst it open," said I, and was running down the entry a little, for a good start, when the landlady caught me, again vowing I should not break down her premises; but I tore from her, and with a sudden bodily rush dashed myself full against the mark."--(Melville, Moby Dick)

Of course, not all of life is rosy, and INFPs are not exempt from the same disappointments and frustrations common to humanity. As INTPs tend to have a sense of failed competence, INFPs struggle with the issue of their own ethical perfection, e.g., perfo rmance of duty for the greater cause. An INFP friend describes the inner conflict as not good versus bad, but on a grand scale, Good vs. Evil. Luke Skywalker in Star Wars depicts this conflict in his struggle between the two sides of "The Force." Although the dark side must be reckoned with, the INFP believes that good ultimately triumphs.

Some INFPs have a gift for taking technical information and putting it into layman's terms. Brendan Kehoe's Zen and the Art of the Internet is one example of this "de-jargoning" talent in action.

Functional Analysis

INFPs live primarily in a rich inner world of introverted Feeling. Being inward-turning, the natural attraction is away from world and toward essence and ideal. This introversion of dominant Feeling, receiving its data from extraverted intuition, must be the source of the quixotic nature of these usually gentle beings. Feeling is caught in the approach- avoidance bind between concern both for people and for All Creatures Great and Small, and a psycho-magnetic repulsion from the same. The "object," be it homo sapiens or a mere representation of an organism, is valued only to the degree that the object contains some measure of the inner Essence or greater Good. Doing a good deed, for example, may provide intrinsic satisfaction which is only secondary to the greater good of striking a blow against Man's Inhumanity to Mankind.

Extraverted intuition faces outward, greeting the world on behalf of Feeling. What the observer usually sees is creativity with implied good will. Intuition spawns this type's philosophical bent and strengthens pattern perception. It combines as auxiliary with introverted Feeling and gives rise to unusual skill in both character development and fluency with language--a sound basis for the development of literary facility. If INTPs aspire to word mechanics, INFPs would be verbal artists.

Sensing is introverted and often invisible. This stealth function in the third position gives INFPs a natural inclination toward absent- mindedness and other-worldliness, however, Feeling's strong people awareness provides a balancing, mitigating effect. This introverted Sensing is somewhat categorical, a subdued version of SJ sensing. In the third position, however, it is easily overridden by the stronger functions.

The INFP may turn to inferior extraverted Thinking for help in focusing on externals and for closure. INFPs can even masquerade in their ESTJ business suit, but not without expending considerable energy. The inferior, problematic nature of Extraverted Thinking is its lack of context and proportion. Single impersonal facts may loom large or attain higher priority than more salient principles which are all but overlooked.

Famous INFPs:

Homer
Virgil
Mary, mother of Jesus
St. John, the beloved disciple
St. Luke; physician, disciple, author
William Shakespeare, bard of Avon
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (Evangeline)
A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie)
Helen Keller, deaf and blind author
Carl Rogers, reflective psychologist, counselor
Fred Rogers (Mister Rogers' Neighborhood)
Dick Clark (American Bandstand)
Donna Reed, actor (It's a Wonderful Life)
Jacqueline Kennedy Onasis
Neil Diamond, vocalist
Tom Brokaw, news anchor
James Herriot (All Creatures Great and Small)
Annie Dillard (Pilgrim at Tinker Creek)
James Taylor, vocalist
Julia Roberts, actor (Conspiracy Theory, Pretty Woman) Scott Bakula (Quantum Leap)
Terri Gross (PBS's "Fresh Air")
Amy Tan (author of The Joy-Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife)
John F. Kennedy, Jr.
Lisa Kudrow ("Phoebe" of Friends)
Fred Savage ("The Wonder Years")

Fictional INFPs:
Anne (Anne of Green Gables))
Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)
Deanna Troi (Star Trek - The Next Generation)
Wesley Crusher (Star Trek - The Next Generation)
Doctor Julian Bashir (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)
Bastian (The Neverending Story)
E.T.: the ExtraTerrestrial
Doug Funny, Doug cartoons
Tommy, Rug Rats cartoons
Rocko, Rocko's Modern Life cartoons

Unexplicably accurate.
http://www.humanmetrics.com

Gavin pondered @ 19:55

Coffee in the air

I can smell the bitter fragrance of thick coffee waffing through the air. Tentalizing the tonsils with the dark nectar. Coffee so antagonizingly delicious.

A pity I'm not connoisseur of coffee. Only able to appreciate the aromatic qualities of the brew, my tongues is ill adapted to savour it's secrets. Give me a cup of cappuccino or mocha, that is about the only coffe I remotely can appreciate.

Just as well. My futile attempts at "enjoying" coffee would only be an act of blasphemy.

Otherwise, I am more than happy to smell the coffee in the air.

Gavin pondered @ 09:51

Sunday, February 20, 2005
Block

Writer's block. The stuff of nightmares.

Moreso when one is actively seeking to be entertained.

In other words, I'm bored with a writer's block. If only there were pills to alleviate this acursed affliction.

I am only human afterall.

Gavin pondered @ 10:34

Saturday, February 19, 2005

"a very long engagement."

Outstanding movie. I recommend it. No spoilers from me though.

Gavin pondered @ 21:20

Friday, February 18, 2005
Chitter Chatter

Seng Chye's dogs are pretty cute. Though he claims one of them is thick in the head.

Oh well, I purchased a new pair of shoes. My 6th pair. 1 pair for causal wear, 1 old pair of running shoes, 1 Answer 6, 1 T-MAC III white, 1 T-MAC III black, and now, the a3 Garnett.

I don't mind, I like shoes., especially shoes with exemplary design. I am a sucker for design, but hey, that's my poison.

Anyways, cowboy bebop. I finished all remaining episodes in 2 days. The ending left me dumbfounded. Not that it was unexpected, but it was so inappropriate. Then again, it is only befitting for such that anime. It's got style, it's got flair. It's excellent.

Maybe it's because I share the same flaw with Spike. Impulsive. Impatient. Stubborn. Heh. That's what I like about him.

Oh well, I'm off then.

Gavin pondered @ 22:58

Book of Windsong updated

Yes, after some time, there has been more lines written in that chapter of blue skies.

I feel guilty for neglecting it, but at least it is not forgotten, like the countless other stories that hang in the limbo of this blog.

Gavin pondered @ 01:32

Thursday, February 17, 2005
What?

Exemplary conduct is not part of my vocabulary.

Well, at least not anymore.

Now there is only MY conduct.

=)

Gavin pondered @ 22:14

Wednesday, February 16, 2005
And of colors too

Yesterday's post was incomplete today. For today, it was revealed that there are also colors in the world.

Yes. It was pretty short-sighted of me, but that's a foregone conclusion considering that I am myopi, but I am most certainly not colorblind. Of course, it can argued that I may be colorblind. Who is to say taht what I perceive is of the normal?

Same goes for our short tenure on this plane. Who is to say that everyone has a unified standard for emotions? It cannot be proved, not with our level of technology anyway.

Colors. There's blue, there's red, there's green. Not forgetting everything in between. Every experience colors the canvas that adjourns the wall of the world.

Suddenly I find it all the more a fallacy to believe in only the black and white. No, that will only be such a wistful waste of precious time. Also, being a stick in the mud is no fun. nor did the frog in the well find it's mate.

There's is no time for wasting really. Live with no regrets, and learn to see the color in full. Black and white looks nice, but don't be mistaken. It is not the only two colors.

Really, this world of colors, it is beautiful.

Gavin pondered @ 17:50

Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Of black white and gray

Life is filled so much with shades of grays, replacing the black and white that used to ensure a continuity of the world. The colors that mantained a conviction in that value of certainty.

Now, it's all shades of gray. Lovely shades I might add, but they are also quite foreign to my comprehension.

Made to believe in that duo-tone since birth, it will take sometime to get used to the grayscale, I reckon.

Since young, they have told me of good and bad. Since school, they have taught me of the infernal path to heaven. But heaven is merely a euphemism, because no one would want to tell a
child that the world he is in, is nary a simplistic one. The model of the world in the child's mind is a simplistic representation, one made up of white lies the "adult" world find necessary to impart to the children, lest they grow up contrary to the mould those adults designed. And the irony? The differentiation of right and wrong, is never right or wrong.

Once upon a time, I could hate the bad guys solely based their "evil" alignment, their being the "enemy". However, the criteria eroded over time, collapsing to reveal an ambiguous mix of means and justifications, cause and effects. Now the freedom fighters in an opressed land do not appears so often to represent the wrong side, afterall, they are fighting for freedom.

Actions lose their definition in the scale of right and wrong, and the implications start running into a million different measures. There is also the issue of the varied scale of different people. This is a interactive scale. The contents change with the users. The users ARE the content.

Only our mind changes.

Afterall, we are the content.

Oh well... This maturity thing is difficult.

Gavin pondered @ 09:19

Monday, February 14, 2005
Chocolate coated strawberries ^.^

Made a humungo batch of them strawberries today, and it is the first time I tried using white chocolate. Must say that white chocolate is harder to handle than dark chocolate, especially since it appears to ahve a lower melting point. I burnt 240 g of white chocolate(1 whole cadbury family bar!!) before deciding to use the microwave ovenr to melt it instead. Apparently, 50 degress is more than enough for white chocolate.

Now sitiing in my fridge are the tempting little strawberries, waiting for the chocolate to solidify. Ooooh... I can't wait to eat them all! Well, that is, what' s left of them after I give some of them away.

I feel a great sense of accomplishemnt, I feel like a master chef. =D

Gavin pondered @ 13:44

Losing

I don't like losing. No one ever does. But during yesterday ball session, I did not feel the "pain" of losing.

Maybe losing is not all that difficult to accept.

Afterall, losses make you work harder to win the next time.

Hmm... That is so true.

We all play for such high stakes, doesn't matter if we keep losing so long as we eventually get what we want. I don't care if I lose a thousand times just to feel the joy of one victory.

Besides, I might not have lost at all.

Gavin pondered @ 13:29

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Joined in a jam session at Houf's today and tried singing one of the songs. I sucks bad... =P But hopefully with practice, it'll go away.

The chinese new eyar festivities are dying down, and I can finally heave a huge sigh of relief.

I've found the white chocolate too, and the boxes, now just short of strawberries, but that's easy. However, the excitement is not there anymore. There's no more challenge, and it feels so passe now. It's just me though, don't worry.

There's no fun in anything well within your abilities. Maybe something will screw up, adding that extra omph.

Hmm... I'd rather it be boring I guess.

Gavin pondered @ 22:37

Friday, February 11, 2005

There's a problem I cannot solve. Something about archiving. If only I had a better grasp of html.

I accept this challenge.

Gavin pondered @ 23:44

Thursday, February 10, 2005
Play a game

Ever play a game, not knowing it's rules? Or playing without knowing the prize. I bet we all have, That's the games we have to play in life.

However, what happens if you know the rules, you know the stakes, you know you can win, but you don't know if you want the prize?

Gavin pondered @ 20:07

DEATH loves peace.

Perhaps the only good thing that came out of the trip to malaysia. The best drawing I did to date. =)

Gavin pondered @ 19:50

A list of things I hate about the chinese new year.

1. Relatives talking about this cousin that looks "so much like me."
Crap... Go acknowledge him as your son then... If you want to make it sound like he's my clone.

2. Parents talking about me to other relatives in front of me.
Why can't they ask me in person?

3. Noisy kids.
They tear your hair, they scream into your face and they mess up the place. Amazing I'm not celibate by now.

4. Parents over-exaggerating your achievements.
What happened to the virtue of being humble? Wait till I can back up your claims when the relatives ask me. Then we'll see who's embarrassed.

5. Oily food.
I can feel the oil in me... The pounds, they just pile on.

6. The stupid chinese new year songs
There's a reason why they invented ear plugs. Thank god for ear plugs.

7. Shops closing.
F*** it... I'm desperately ssearching for a box, chocolates and strawberries. Why the hell are all the shops CLOSED!

8. Having to pretend I like the festival.
It's not fair to spoil everyone's mood... ah well.

Gavin pondered @ 19:30

Tuesday, February 08, 2005
I'll trade all my ang-pows for excuse from malaysia

The lunar "new" year is a brilliant idea. Where else can you find an excuse to show concern towards people you only see once a year.

Let's all get lovey-dovey and show that we care for people we don't even bother to think about in the course of a year. What is not to love about such a festival.

Once again, people will coerce unwilling parties into putting on a facade. Don't anyone realize that goes aginst the spirit of free will. It is a violation of basic human right. The right to be yourself.

lunar "new" year is also a time to give out many oscar statuettes. The amount of excellent acting on display is unbelievable. These people should make a career out of acting, i swear.

I would like to reiterate that I DO NOT like social functions. Moreso lunar "new" year, especially when I would have to spend it in a foreign land. malaysia is NOT my homeland. It is a foreign land.

I'll trade anyone ALL my ang pows for a cancellation of my Lunar New Year. Maybe the medical centercan give me an excuse slip: excuse malaysia.

Screw tradition.

Gavin pondered @ 09:45

Sunday, February 06, 2005
OMG! I'm fan-boying!

Thanks to intel from Yingmei(Thanks you! Thank you, thank you!), I know there's a stall selling Nightmare Before Christmas merchandise at J8!

Oh no, there goes my next month's paycheck. My heart is pounding, my stomach's churning!

*Pins himself to a coffin*

It is rare to hear of that name these days. Well... I have to resist rushing out today. I just bought the Jack plushie not long ago! Plus I would probably collapse on the bus. Damn I want my driving license now.

Gavin pondered @ 13:39

Lonestar

When the nights drags on, you know it's late when the crickets too take their rest. The still air so stagnant, it impedes your ever move.

A quiet peaceful night.

A welcome change from the week that passed. Time to take a deep breathe and rest.

My mind acts slowy, the effecs of a long night's vigil, it's numb, and numb I am. There's music in the air, a lonesome lullaby or a mournful requiem, accompaniment for the lonely night wind and the twinkling of the distant stars.

All is at rest, a therapeutic calm to ease the tired soul. Dreary.

The scene is perfect, but in that perfection, is accentuated a flawed picture. A solitary fault. But in that fault that one single fault, cannot be overlooked the glaring inadequacy.

I feel all alone. Not lonely, but alone.

A quandary, yes?

I find myself trifly perplexed.

Gavin pondered @ 01:35

Friday, February 04, 2005
People

My friend told me she doesn't like people. She said they bug her.
Another friend said he doesn't like people. They don't undersand him.

I don't like people either. They tend to form huge crowds and make a lot of noise. The world is already too crowded as it is.

Like a million bugs in a bottle would bug each other. Inevitable.

What must one do to get any shred of privacy in this day? Just the slightest reprieve is much sought after. Label me an egomaniac or a xenophobe, but I'm entitled my own 2 cents. In other words, people bug me.

You know? My friends are geniuses indeed.

Gavin pondered @ 13:05

Little science

Action = reaction

Playing with fire. Interesting reaction indeed.

Let's not get too complacent now. Fire still can burn.

Gavin pondered @ 11:18

Thursday, February 03, 2005
Therefore I must

"The artist is the creator of beautiful things. To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's aim. The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things.

The highest as the lowest form of criticism is a mode of autobiography. Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault.

Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only beauty. "

-Oscar Wilde

I yearn to see the world for the beauty it is.

But first I must learn to think from scratch.

Therefore I must.

Gavin pondered @ 11:12

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Wanted to hurl a tirade of rants on the unsatisfactory condition I find certain aspects of life to be in, but what's the point?

Complaining never did build the Great Wall.

Then again, maybe it did.

Perhaps the ancient chinese had been making such a big fuss of invaders trying to siphon of China's territory that the ancient kings got around to constucting the walls to keep the people pacified. Hmm...

Actually, impatience could also be attributed to the salvation of my readers from an absolutely pointless exercise in the art of proposing many lengthy arguments with no accomplishment or productive outcomes.

There's a strong desire to play ball, but time does not permit. The thirst for the thrill, The feel of the ball, the speed, the swoosh of the net. Oo... My knees go weak. The weekend would be here soon, and hopefully, there will be an enjoyable ball session. The urge to improve on my skills has never been stronger, and I am eager.

On court, no worries, no regrets, no time for rest. Just bring your game.

I want the intensity, I want the speed, I want the rush. Don't ask me why. I never want to stop, forward, faster, higher!

It's just a phase I'm going through. Or that's what I would like to believe in.

I want to reach to the moon and touch the stars, then speed off to the next universe. I want to dive down to the deepest depths of the widest ocean, soar through the cerulean sky, and make it back in time for dinner.

Simple life? Not.

I have grown weary of conforming. What possessed me to think I have to act like everyone else. What devilish monstrosity have lead me to believe that standing out from the crowd is a crime? It's just this society I swear. The oppressive pressure to be part of the nation's plan.

Can a society full of expectations and stereotypes tolerate my presence? I have been really nice till now... But being nice is tedious. It's monotonous. Ultimately, it eats at your sanity.

Why is it I have come to fear being myself?
Good question. Go ask society.

Gavin pondered @ 13:46

Error. Conflicting statements.

A quick scan on my computer using AVG showed up 100 infected files. That inspite of Norton anti-virus declaring it virus free the night before.

Conclusion? Never take security for granted. That's how it works.

Don't assume that you can be absolutely safe, for safety is a matter of luck and opportunity. Of course the responsibilty of ensuring the upmost level of security lies upon the user, but the user must also realize that it is a fallacy to claim perfection in the prevention of malicious attacks.

So remember people. Be cautious on the internet. It's a big big world out there, cause you'll never know what lurks around the next corner.

Gavin pondered @ 13:14

Tuesday, February 01, 2005
`Toyota VIOS = bleah

My legs are too long for the Toyota VIOS. Crap. Have to spend another 100 minutes in that vehicle tomorrow.

*Dread*

Severly overfed today. Need to burn up those extra tons. Damn it. CNY's not far off either.. more food... A grueling test for willpower. Then next will come a little barrage of chocolates.

Worse. I woke up feeling like a zombie. The walking dead staking the unwary toilet. I can't remember anything from before noon. Remedy? Rest. There's a luxury I could do with, but remains a luxury for now.

I need a better schedule. I need amn organizer... No. I need a secretary.

Looking for Gavin? Please take a queue number, our friendly staff will attend to you shortly.

Gavin pondered @ 23:24

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