As much as I like to rationalize some actions, it's hard to explain something like feelings. There's just no linguistic facility that can adequately convey them.
So, there's really no rationalizing how I feel. A good feeling is a good feeling because it makes you feel like you want more of it, a bad one tells you never to repeat it again.
But what happens when it's a bittersweet reaction that wants you to experience it again, and simultaneously waves a knife at you in defiance. Weird huh?
Then there's those that leave you unsure of the next step, that you have to obey just because you cannot defy, but you know it's right. Just like an impulse, that makes you do certain things you might regret, but then again, not doing them is a regret.
It becomes even more interesting when the rest of the world gets thrown in for the ride. Now, you don't have yourself to contend with, you have everyone else!
Golly.
Then these emotions start getting names. Jealousy, anger, fear, uncertainty, joy, association, camaraderie, liking and love.
This should have probably been saved for perusal by certain chosen individuals, but there's not holding it back this night.
This changes nothing yet it might change everything. It's a duplex of sorts, which outcome is far from determined. It really takes 2 to clap.
I'm still looking for clues out there, just as you might be.
A rare double post, but I simply have too much to contain within me. I feel that I'm losing touch with my purpose. I had 2 opportunities to help another person today and I let them slip.
To reaffirm the lost gentleman he;s on the right train. I failed. To inform the two teens where their card had fallen, I neglected.
Such weighed heavily on my soul. I had to do something, something to remedy and chase the apathy away. Then I did something I felt was nice, I gave the cleaner a small token of appreciation for his efforts. It was going to be his last day.
Have I found so much doubt in me that even the basic principles and morals have not stood the test?
Damn, I hope not.
Carpe Diem boy, Carpe Diem. The difference I can make is in the person I can help there and then, not the ones I can "potentially" help another day. They might or might not ome to pass. The one I see in front of me, that is real, someone whom I can reach out and touch.
Damaged reputations are the least of my concerns when it is alarming that the subversion of the laws and rules extend much deeper than fathomable. Worse is a sense that there's not a single member of authority who could concern his or herself, to apply their wisdom, and their scrutiny upon the issues at hand.
Let the forces of the corrupt and vile run wild whilst authority blindly entrusts in them the faith and good will.
Pathetic.
I swore to forget about this whole issue, but I'm not the kind who can sit apathetically, and pretend to be blind.
Yet I find it lacking in me, any innovative way to approach the issue at hand. A considerable amount of faith and trust in the fellow men has been squandered, by what I am sure is a deviant from the general civil portion of society. It is unfortunate that some bad eggs do contribute greatly to an aversion to cake.
This is not an essay to point an accusatory finger at any particular individual, but rather an attempt to sound out anomalies and incongruous behaviour in keeping with that of a cultured and civil society.
For how much longer must we obsess ourselves with creature comforts and battles of ego. All to what end? Just a display of dominance?
I believe, you dear misled sheep, that the year is a matter of concern, but I do assure you that the decade forthcoming is of even more consequence. The future, is in our hands, and rationality demands a responsible approach that would ensure a decent, if not generous helping of the spoils for the generations to come.
After all, has it not been a cycle of the same old occurances that seeks to perpetuate itself in the actions of thes people? To preserve their position and to further their standing in the eyes of their acquaintances. Perhaps it might be a matter of great consequence to them. However, does the future not hold more grave consequences is it were neglected?
I tire of them, and I hope they find it in themselves to change and work for something tangible and reasonable. Don't ruin somethign good to preserve a little microcosm. It's afterall a world that has a billion residents, not a little town with 50 owners.
We are not the only ones that matter. In fact, we are the only ones that do not matter.
How how I abhor this melting pot of human emotions. It's so undeniably predictable and cliche, the responses they elicit, especially when the irrepressible urge to express something gets stifled before it comes to fruition. The sights and sounds you take in stimulate the senses, encouraging thoughts and reflections. Observations of the world as it flits past the cognitive senses make no coherent point.
I was taken aback and quite by surprise.
Losing one's composure, and contemplating the futility of an existence hardly contributes to the joys of one. Then again, it is all too easy to fall into the trap.
Human after all, and fallible as a human is.
Tell me why, why do I feel this sense of quiet desperation about my being? Where do I go from here? What is my purpose now?
Then again, I am starkly reminded that it's not even over yet.
This is one of my favourite pieces. It's not very famous or renowned, but I love it for the majesty that the piece exudes, and within the composition, there's a gentle and graceful presentation of the music through the piano, strings and brass instruments. There's a certain lightness to this particular piece, in contrast to other more powerful pieces like Tchaikovsky's concerto no 1 or impactful and technically challenge as Rachmaninov's Piano concerto no2
Very interesting interpretation of finale on the piano. It's quite different from the typical variations that I've heard, and a fresh change from the Ambache Orchestra rendition that I have come to like.
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With the conclusion of the weekend, I bid Seng farewell until his next holiday. Nonetheless, the 3 musketeers had fun in the past week. Pool, hanging out at Holland V, and pigging out at Botak Jones. It certainly has helped a great deal in pointing my mind back in the proper direction. It's good for the psyche and the soul. We've each changed a little in the months apart, changing as the environment and influences melded and concoct a potpourri out of our life story. Fortunately, the core's intact, we are still who we were.
So it's good to know that Gavin is clueless with it comes to wooing girls. After all these years I've still got the likings for this particular one, but I've got no clue whatsoever how to proceed. According to Meixian (oh yes, a chance meeting with my old friend on campus last week!), she claimed it's not like me to be this inhibited. Yeah, I'm surprised myself. Well, partly because I'm scared! I just can't Carpe the Diem because er... Because I just don't know how to? Erm... heh. *Sheepish*
How to do it in a really nice way? How to make an impact, an impression that will tip the odds in my favour, and the "what if it kills the friendship" nagging at my mind. then there's the silly "she like me, she likes me not" ritual. Only thing lacking is the little flower petals on the floor. Those are a little hard to come by in urban singapore. =p
Ooo... please, something just hit me, some inspiration, some compelling urge to push me past this hill of procrastination!
A little cheer and hope to see us through. It's hard to trudge a way through a foggy path, but there must be something we work towards. At the end of the day, you sit and rest, and you want to know, "hey, I did it."
Against fear, against adversity, you did it.
Everyon, here's a little ehads up to all.
"You gotta be"
Listen as your day unfolds Challenge what the future holds Try and keep your head up to the sky Lovers, they may cause you tears Go ahead release your fears Stand up and be counted Don't be ashamed to cry You gotta be You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm You gotta stay together All I know, all I know, love will save the day Herald what your mother said Readin' the books your father read Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time Some may have more cash than you Others take a different view My oh my heh, hey You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm You gotta stay together All I know, all I know, love will save the day Don't ask no questions, it goes on without you Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace The world keeps on spinning You can't stop it, if you try to This time it's danger staring you in the face Oh oh oh Remember Listen as your day unfolds Challenge what the future holds Try and keep your head up to the sky Lovers, they may cause you tears Go ahead release your fears My oh my heh, hey, hey You gotta be You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm You gotta stay together All I know, all I know, love will save the day You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm You gotta stay together All I know, all I know, love will save the day
They say a picture speaks a thousand word, ergo moving pictures convey much more than just.
Enjoy these videos, whilst I go through my silent contemplation phase. I really need a break from the mudane-ness of daily routine, a compelling urge and desire to engage in much more than simple banter.
After hanging my poor D.S. browser twice, I finally succeeded in getting into blogspot to attempt posting an entry. So far so good, and it appears that blogger has temporarily averted the fate of being rendered obsolete.
Demy was good, I absolutely adored peau d'anne. The costumes, in all their pompous glory was simply a magnificent sight to behold. That leaves rather high expectations, and rather tall boots for Lola to fill. Amanda, I hope you've already booked the tickets!
4. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
This is quite unconceivable, the 2nd book in less than a week. Credit goes to Carroll and that wonderfully crafted adventure that flows like water. Joining Alice on her adventure through the queer and bizzare Wonderland, we find ourselves drawn into a journey that examines the oddities of human adult world through the eyes of the uninitiated young child. As Alice experiences a symbolic "rite of passage" into the adult world, she retains the innocence only a child could posses.
Whether one would like to ifnd a magical journey of wonderous sights, or an excursion into the human condition, this book is always worth the time.
In other news, she's been sighted again, PRETTY WITH A PISTOL, just around Mars, sipping Black Coffee. Holding on to a piece of paper spelling "See you space cowboy", just tempting, tempting to me to join in that COSMIC DARE.
At the end of the day, if it turns out that Heaven's not Enough, it's going to be the Real Folk Blues.
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Why the hell am I speaking nonsense? Because I'm bored, I hate to be wrong, and maybe that you'll find this amusing.
It is a remarkable achievement to have finished a book, no a play to be precise, in just 2 days.
Beckett's Godot, appears to be a utterly random and unconnected series of expressions that only serve to confound and perplex the reader. There is hardly any plot, and waht little provides little insight into anything but the condition of the human affliction.
We only know this. Two men, waiting for this "Godot". Who is this Godot? His identity till the end remains veiled in secrecy, or is it a device of Beckett's? An allusion to the countless figures men look forward to chancing upon, or have been instructed to anticipate the coming of? Might it be the personification of idol worship, or a thinly disguised attack on eligious fervour?
This Godot, is supposed to deliver to Vladimir and Estragon answers. The similarity between Godot and God, might be more than mere conincidence.
Anyway, I detract from the enjoyment of a funny, yet sad story, of the comical duo who lead their tragic lives.
Indeed, a tragi-comedy in two acts.
Btw, I'm annoyed with Harris and their price tags. I can't get the sticky part of my books. Now I know why they're 25% off.
