Precocious. Little. Clover. Devil

Monday, February 27, 2006
Return to Ubin

A long overdue post would finally see the light of day!!

On the 25th, we, the 11 intrepid explorers gathered at Changi Village to begin a voyage into the depths of the unknown island!

with bathed breath and a curious heart, the 11 young men sat onboard the boat, unsure of what the future holds.

The skies outside threaten to swallow the sun. Nonetheless, the boat braved forward, not paying heed to the forboding grey.

And before long, the explorers stepped off the boat

Alright, there's no secret island, but Pulau Ubin.=) And so, whilst we checked and selected our bikes, we started planning our route.

We saw a wild boar caged.

And then we tried a little bollywood magic.

Which called for a break at the coconut stall.

Coconut...!

Later, we tried taking a "neoprint" at the quarry.

We took some pictures on a boat, alas they are too large for imageshack. No matter, for we left the islands feeling really good.

Say cheese!

And I say yeah!

In all, we left feeling like the Kings of the World!

BTW, the photos can be downloaded from: http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3TT4MXEEESGP80JFOGBYB8SJY3

Gavin pondered @ 20:53

Friday, February 24, 2006
For posterity's sake

Hours tick by and nothing may flow. At other times, rivers run dry in merely a second. This boy here knows not of the essence of timing, nor the importance of patience.

He does, however, know of few virtues. Enthusiasm, bravery, and persistence.

Thus he ends up rushing zealously towards a wall of spikes. Repeatedly.

Especially when the hours flow long and slow, the inclination to do silly things reaches a high.

At present, I languish in self-pity over an issue that should be of no consequence. Finding fault with me for being myself. Perchance a passing fad to reprimand oneself is prevalent in the winds.

Is that not tacit admission to one's fallability?

Of course, one must not take me too seriously, forI find that I am simply putting thoughts to words for posterity's sake.

I believe that I should have disposed of myself in the course of the last fews days. Worthless actions and unnecessary outbursts. Although they were not entirely in vain. These flaws shall be the foundations on which a stronger and better self will be built.

Learn how to first let go of the fishing line, then perhaps the reason why it snaps will reveal itself.

I once heard a story about the bird in the cage. It tells that a bird set free that flys back to you is better than a bird in cage that shys from you.

The lesson here is about giving freedom and having trust. Confidence and faith in the hands of your birds. Similarly, if a leader were to micro-mange everything, then the men will definitely feel irritated that their leader is unwilling to rely on them.

Similarly, if a dog is leashed every moment of its life. And every single second spent in close proximity to its owner, then the dog might as well not be a living thing.

I think I am liable to this fatal mistake. I need to be more confident.

Gavin pondered @ 12:14

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

My childhood sounds so much like Seng Chye's.

I rememebr, sitting on the school bus, my awter bottle was the joystick of the plane, and together with my wingmen, we shot lasers out of our wingtip to incinerate the guys on the opposite seats.

I remember how my pals and I used to cycle round the neighbourhood in our super bikes, blasting the crap out of the evil space aliens.

Other days, I'd lead them off to far away land and we would have mighty missions to accomplish, planets to save and people to rescue.

Damn.

Men resigned to this. Born in peace, but meant to fight. The heroes find their blades rusting in the lazy setting sun.

Heroes left with no burning castle to save, heroes left to ushering maidens around.

Is this the kind of life that is meant to be?

I try everyday to be the perfect gentleman. I try every day to attain some stupid loathy goal. Everyday, it's filled with something that will only see me to my grave.

And the funniest part? This misery is self-inflicted. everyday, telling myself that I can't do this and that. Everyday telling myself to play according to the rules.

I'm quite sick of taht.

Gavin pondered @ 21:16

Tuesday, February 21, 2006
DENT

Rant

I, the everbungling idiot that I am dented the right passenger of my car. At the Parkway carpark, once again. Fuck.

And I had a passenger onboard too.

Common sense tells me to avoid that car park from now on.

A nightmare of a day. Got stabbed in the kidneys by a table (a rather vicious table mind you!) at MPH, and almost got knocked by a car, fortunately, Amanda stopped me in time.

I think I'm just exhausted. I can see the eye bags haunting my face, I can feel the body screaming bloody murder, and my mind wailing out for a good rest. I require 2 generous helpings of cold water on my face just to keep me half awake today.

What am I to remain alert when I can't even maintain conciousness?

End Rant

We didn't manage to find City of God in the 5 shops in Marine Parade. Well, MPH had the VCD, but... I can't swallow that picture quality even with 10 spoonfuls of sugar.

Now I want to watch: Amelia, Hinokio, the Hours, Motorcycle Diaries, the Pianist and a million other shows.

Importantly, I get to practice the art of Chivalry. An opportunity to practice speaking proper. It's not so bad, at least I know that I am real. Yet, I still find it hard to be more spontaneous; to be even more real.

And Amanda, open books remain open because they choose to. So why choose to read only the words?

Gavin pondered @ 22:30

Monday, February 20, 2006
Short Story

Scene 1: Starbucks

Waitress: so you've come here to study?
Me: silence
Waitress: You're hear to study?
Me: Gives a silly smile. Sorry... I can't hear you.
Waitress Very patiently. You came here to study?
Me: Whole series of thoughts run through the head, including that of her trying to chase unwanted and over-staying customers away Err... Nope.
Waitress: What're you doing now? Studying
Me: Revelation Oh, I'm in NS now.

End Scene

What the fuck!?

The nice waitress was trying to be polite and social, and I assumed that she was going to utter some snide/cynical things. I think I'm beyond help. Fortunately, I think there's hope for the service industry.

BUT

I think, I need to go out more often. Talk to people more.

I need to stop the voice in my brain from painting bad pictures of people.

People are fun.

People are good.

There's hope still.

By the way, thanks for a great time, Cheryl.

Gavin pondered @ 17:58

Sunday, February 19, 2006

That was cleaned up easily by 3 people.

Gavin pondered @ 21:00

Friday, February 17, 2006

http://kevan.org/johari?name=ragnarokg

Evidently, I have nothing constructive to speak off.

Gavin pondered @ 18:19

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Last year I thought Valentine's was on the 15th. Last year I made strawberries in chocolate. And last year? Last year I pretended I was having a great time.

Why can't girls these days play along in the game?

One too many cautious things, afraid to get involved.

If I smile at you, smile back. Don't start counting hard, and thinking how I'll disappoint you.

Anyways, I just got back from confessions of 300 unmarried man. Rather unimpressed with it. Funny as it was, it lacks depth.

And did I mention todaay's Velentine's? All the retaurants were choked full, the roads were horribly packed. Frustrating for a moment, until I saw a guy at the National Library, dressed in his best, holding a bouquet of roses, and trying to calm his beating heart.

He made me smile, and inside, I wished him good luck. People can be such ernest creatures, so pure and cute at times.

But that does little to change the fact that the play sucked. Houf thinks its sacriledge, Jacq said it was good. Seng Chye faded into the background. I think it was a whole load of bad acting coupled with a horribly meaningless excuse for any artistic sense.

A surprise from Amanda today:

Another Jack collectible! Check it out! He lights up!

Gracias! To the sweetest lady on the planet for today. You know quite a bit, but I challenge you to find out more.

Exchange. Sugar-momma. Being pissed. Using charm. Learning to be a gentleman. Still ever on your toes. Honesty.

I wonder how the 8 girls felt about being stood up. I'm actually chuckling away thinking about how silly a day today has been. So metaphorical and filled with bad acting. May it's just the air today. I'm not complaining.

Gavin pondered @ 23:50

Sunday, February 12, 2006
the Constant Gardener

The Constant Gardener

I think it's the best movie I've watched in a while. The art direction is good, the story is absorbing, the characters well developed and above all, the actors sublime!

The movie has a good does of everything inside but where it excels is its pacing, and the whole script does not disappoint. The start begans a little slow, but apart from that, there's is little one can find fault with.

The movie is so real and so "in your face" that it is highly disturbing. It present you with the cruel reality and garnishes it with a heavy dose of irony.

Love, trust, suffering, poverty, bureaucracy, corruption, power play, disappointment, conspiracy. Merely a handful of the devices and twists found in the story.

Gavin pondered @ 21:07

Thursday, February 09, 2006

I am deliberating.

Most dominantly on my style of leadership. I've been called a Russian tank before, and I've been abandoned beacause I simply refused to stop.

"I will take all your hurt and more, if only you would follow me." That is a prommise I offer.

But interesting enough, I might be taking even more than the fair share of the pie. I take all the pain, yes, but it seems that I take all the glory too. Even if that is not true, my guys, my friends, they would not feel as though any outcome was a product of their efforts. That's not good.

If someone is so capable then, he can jolly well survive alone.

I am sure that is one of the foremost resentment that surfaces. Then disaster is just waiting to happen. The moment I fail, then the whole unity of the group collapses, implodes on me like a hundred megaton nuclear bomb.

A good leader needs to involve everyone, and he needs to shut up, and distribute the job.

The hallmark of a good leader is making the people believe they can do it.

The whole load about being infallable and above all. That is bullshit. Who is going to adhere to those insane standards?

Not everyone.

Gavin pondered @ 21:51

Wednesday, February 08, 2006
????? (Hana and Alice)

It's 7pm and it's still as bright as day. It will be 7am and barely a ray of light will be in sight. That would be the closest to a change in seasons Singapore will ever see.

But I digress.

The agenda for today is Hana and Alice. I watched it yet again, and felt in love with the movie one more time. The movie does not have an outstanding story per se, but the stregth lies in the character development, especially that of the two leads, Hana and Alice, and in particular, their friendship.

Hana, the great story teller and actress, weaving those superb fiction with nary a bat of the eye-lid.

And then, there is Tetsuko Arisugawa, also know as Alice. A girl in unfortunate circumstances, yet she remains ever cheerful. Living in a single parent family, being reject time and again at auditions. Alice is so earnest and endearing that I cannot help but like this character.

Watch it if yu can, it's good. Friendship, love, teenage angst, aspirations, dreams and strength of character. You will find it all.

Anyway, some people have complained that I never reveal my birthday. It's the 1st of March, okay? =)

Gavin pondered @ 18:46

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Phhhtt, I got tagged...!

Let's see now, who should I tag?

Yingmei, Jeanie, Nicholas, Sherman, Alwyn, Tianhao and Jianxiong. =p

Four Jobs I've had in my life
1. Student
2. Soldier
3. Cadet
4. Classified

Four Movies I can watch over and over
1. The Nightmare Before Christmas
2. Hitch
3. Mary Poppins
4. Pirates of the Carribean

Four places I have lived in
1. Singapore
2. Tekong
3. Fantasy
4. Dreams

Four TV shows I love to watch
1. Basketball Matches
2. Formula One Races
3. Who's Line is it anyway?
4. I don't really watch TV

Four places that I have been on vacation
1. Australia
2. Korea
3. Indonesia
4. In the depths of Imgaination

Four of my favorite dishes
1. Fish, fresh and lightly grilled with a hint of lemon
2. Sushi
3. Tomato based Pasta
4. Chocolate

Four Websites I visit daily
1. NBA
2. Wikipedia
3. Hotmail
4. Deviant Art

Four places I would rather be right now
1. Hell
2. Some place where everyone is happy
3. Anywhere that lets me do anything I want
4. A place with eternal peace

Gavin pondered @ 21:13

Saturday, February 04, 2006
Pacifist

Non-violence.

Believe that it is possible. Although it will be an immensely arduous road. It will not require years, it will require centuries.

We need first, a distraction to occupy the human race. A common goal that will concern the future of the race such. A common vision that will have people work towards.

Thta appears to be my distraction of the moment. Pacifism.

It is such an attractive idea, and coincidentally, an almost impractical one.

The Apotheosis of War (1871)
Image linked from Wikipedia

Gavin pondered @ 19:47

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Beautiful evening sky. The perfect setting for many a romantic adventures to commence. Knights riding their magnificent steed down rolling hills; the amber clouds the still oil pastel master strokes.

Or a samurai drenched in cherry blossom rain, the blood on his robes and a grin on his face.

Something only seen in the depths of imagination.

It was about then that the tunes from the Little Mermaid started humming in my head.

Add a sudden little tinge of weird bitter-sour cocktail to go with the mix.

Why oh why is man so easily sways by things not done and things not his?

Whatever.

Back to the sky, it could not wait and now it is but a sheet of night. Cold breezy wind and the quiet, silent street. Pretty.

Gavin pondered @ 21:09