Sometimes, I feel like I want to have children. Probably the result of hormones getting to my head.
I have always had a notion that I would make a bad parent. Either pampering and spoiling the child or end up neglecting it altogether. It's quite a scary thought, being a parent, but it has a certain appeal to it to. Something primal, and natural, and something that will make me feel good. I think.
It's odd thinking how an over-sized baby such as me, could end up becoming a father. The horror!
I mean, it's already so hard to let people into my head or my heart, yet to learn how to trust. Qualities unbecoming of a father.
Heh. The word father even has a weird ring to it, like something that I will not be. It's strange to have to be classified as a father. Like a label on your head. I dislike labels. Their sole purpose appears to be the restraint of one's freedom. Like, "you're a student," "I'm an asian," "I'm a driver".
I digress.
Someday, I would like to have someone close to me. Someone to care for, to love. It's rather tiring fighting for everyone everyday.
I think that's what everyone else would like too. A simple piece of home. Motivation to live life to its fullest. The missing piece that will push you to your potential.
Insane standards, unrealistic expectations and a desire for freedom. Impediments and opponents of stability. I try to do all this in hopes that someday a better world will come, a better world for me too.
Running, running, running, not ever stopping even to catch a breath. It's exciting, but nevertheless, lonely.
A hand to hold, someone to touch me, and someone to snuggle up to.
Oh well, just a little wish that I have every christmas.
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Mood: Sigh... Listening to: Jack Johnson - Rodeo Clowns
I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was in Monaco.
It was a nice dream. Being in Monaco, seeing the wonderful sea view. My friends were there too. They started appearing, and we started exploring. Then I woke up.
There was a beetle flying around the room, and it landed in close proximity to the macbook. I flicked it away with my finger. It rolled on its back, not moving any longer. I prodded it, but it did not stir. Such a fragile creatre, I thought. I looked away for a moment, and looked back.
It was gone. Tricky critter playing dead. What a handy little skill to have at one s disposal.
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Mood: Mildly amused Listening to: Somewhere over the rainbow
Thnking about it, I have been through any thing that can remotely qualify as a calamity.
We're lucky to live in times of peace, fortunate to live in a country where basic needs are met.
What did we do to deserve this luxury. Was it random luck resulting in our consciousness being brought into existence in this particular location? Perhaps, but, are we deserving?
Nonetheless, we already have 'it'. What we do with 'it' is the point of contention.
I feel it is preferable to lead an exisence with a purpose. A gargantuan task, honestly.
Me? I just want to have fun, afterall, spending a lifetime watching the world change is quite an intriguing way to live. We hardly understand what we desire. The most strong willed people amongst us, I'm sure experiences this little paradox. One can be convinced that one would like to strive for certain vales one holds true to oneself, and the moment one atains what one had set out to achieve, end up feeling empty.
I can tell everyone I want to save the trees, but only when embarking on that path, will I find out if it was one that I had wished for. The lines between what the mind, heart and soul wants is a perpetual mess. Therefore, it is paramount to have an understanding between the 3 in order to live a life that makes sense.
Or, we could just spend a lifetime watching the world change.
First of, please out your hands together for the 2006 NBA champions. From the Eastern Conference, THE Miami HEAT!A wonderful series crowns a deserving winner, in fairy tale fashion. Ever since the game 3 come-back, there was no turning back. Zo, Payton, Shaq, and Wade. Well done.
Coughing the life out of me, and trying not to tear out my oesophagus. Feeling the slow descent, and a gradual slip from the grasp of the world around me, as I immerse myself in the world of Kingdom Hearts II. It's good to see you again, Donald and Goofy. Still looking for King Mickey, Riku and Kairi.
A pity real life isn't half as exciting.
Dive from the throes of this life, into the grasp of something more. What does make of a existence is what one perceives. See the world in a grain of sand or find the universe too small a land.Make of your life, as you would make of your life. The purpose is yours and yours alone.
Anyway, this boy is signing out.
Mood: In pain. Damn cough. Listening to: Lilo & Stitch - Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride
Just leisurely surfing around deviant art whilst lying back on my bed, using the macbook, and feeling utterly lazy. Oh yes, do take a peek at my livejournal blog, and those with livejournal accounts, do add me, k?
I give up, no constructive post will be coming from me this night. zzzzzzz.
Location: on the bed Listening to: Five for Fighting - Something about you
Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head - don't read the questions before you write.
1) Yingmei 2) Houf 3) Meixian 4) Neubs 5) Kheng Hwee 6) colin nipples teo 7) Shermy nattou 8) Gerald Giant Sim 9) tfaduh 10) Henry 11) Marc 12) Jay 13) Jiv 14) Cheryl 15) Quekie 16) Alwyn 17) Wong Keng 18) Scribbles Huang 19) Kath 20) Jac
1. How did you meet #14? We're from the same CCA in JC
2. What would you do if you had never met #1? Have a few more strands of hair?
3. What would you do if #20 and #9 dated? 0_o. My god, they ARE dating!
4. Would #6 & #17 make a good couple? Yes! With all my warmest blessings too!
5. Describe #3. The most violent and crazy lady I've ever seen who likes to put me down regardless of occassion. Bad.
6. Do you think #8 is attractive? Yes! He's all, 190+cm, the perfect tall, not so dark and handsome. Pity I'm a guy... lol
7. Tell me something about #7 The walking encyclopedia, especially if you're talking about anything related to biology.
8. Do you know anything about #12's family? He'd got a twin brother!
9. What's #8's favourite? Panna cota at Galbiati's
10. What would you do if #11 confesses that he/she likes you? I'd be flattered, but I'm not a homo.
11. What language does #15 speak? English, Mandarin and Japanese
12. Who is #9 going out with? With #20! What coincidence!
13. How old is #16 now? 22 this year
14. When was the last time you talked to #13? Yesterday
15. Who's #2's favourite singer? Can I list a favourite band instead? Blur!
16. Would you date #4? Maybe. He's rich, got a Macbook and a cool last name to boot! I don't see why not. =D
17. Would you date #7? Nope, I can't stand the smell of nattou.
18. Is #15 single? Hmm... I think she's more of a triple or a quadruple?
19. What is #10's last name? Henry Chua Wenjie. =)
20. Would you ever consider being in a relationship with #19? Hmm... If she's single and I'm looking, sure! haha
21. What schools did #3 go to? hmm... Clementitown sec, Nanyang JC, NTU Business school?
22. Where does #6 live? Shit! I can't recall. Somewhere near Seletar.
23. What's your favourite thing about #5? My buddy since secondary school. (picks the up phone and tries to arrange the first meeting in a year)
24. What do you think of #18? Fun, but I would run out of the clinic if I ever I find out he's the doctor there. How many finger do I have, scribbles? ;)
25. What do #4 and #19 have in common? hmm... the both live in Serangoon, pretty near NYJC
26. What special qualities does #17 hold in your life? Do I know him...?
I sit in a corner waiting for the heavens to pour all my wishes right unto my outstretched arms.
hmm...
As if! =p
Hello? Goodbye.
The line is dead, why, the line isn't connected at all. Calling the big guy in the sky He's looking out for your call.
Providence?
Fictional, mystical, mumboo-jumboo, illusionary. Existence, or none, persist continuity Perhaps just part truth, more imaginary Maybe just a little serendipity
Mere coincidence
It doesn't matter if there's a god. Man's conscience has been dead for centuries.
It's time for redemption, with or without a god. Do it for yourself, do it for the human race. Don't do it justt because someone told you to.
Members of Mare rehearsing From a different angle Guest singer
Mamre, they're going to be performing in Chompang on the 2nd of July. It's for charity, so do come on down to support them if you are free on that day. It's a Sunday, so you guys could give me a call if you're going down.
They told the main character to take a seat. So he did, not expecting it to be the back-seat. He accepted it, silently, knowing his time, slowly counting down to departure, so he sat, quietly.
The new must learn they say.
So he takes a backseat.
Let them be, let them be. I don't want to pick up broken pieces, I don't want any of this nonsense. Most of all, no one bosses me around. Damn you. If you want, you ask nicely.
Don't start that "everyone subscribes to a unified mould of humanity" shit. Fuck that. I let down my defences not for people to step all over me, I let my defences down because I think I can trust people.
I don't bloody trust people, let people in just so they can fucking take a stroll round and start kicking me the hell around.
Want to prove me wrong? Go ahead.
So what shall he do? He can't afford to be selfish, yet he doesn't feel like taking anymore of it. He's not used to not turning the tide to his favour.
But that won't stop him from feeling really pissed off.
I like that number, a pity I wasn't born on this day, nor will I get married on this day, much less have a child on this day.
It's such a cool number! No worries, there's always 777, 888, 999, 101010, 111111, 121212, alas, no 131313. Leaves me 6 more years to get married and have children. Heh.
In other news, my iPod's spoilt. The menu button's not working, and it'll caost $400 to replace it. I very much rather get a brand new ipod. In the meantime, I'll try living without any music for a while.
In other, other news - Phuket trip! Probably on the week of 15 July. Sun, sand and sea, here we come.
She stood on the highest point of the South Gate, gazing into the far distant space.
"People wonder what heaven is like. Some say it would be like a vast verdant field, green and fresh, and beautiful too. Others say it resembles a great magnificent feast. These descriptions are countless, and visions, that men wish to see. Their personal piece of heaven, their special place in this world.
I have heard many of these 'visions'. They are not wrong, But as varied as these descriptions go, one keeps echoing in my head.
'The dreariness of duty, and the irrationality of order. The Monotony of heaven.'
Where are you?"
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"There you are!" said Michael, from the base of the gate. "How much longer are you staying there?"
"I don't know." replied Darianne. "He hasn't called me."
There is a kind reminder that 2 of the participants hve not answered my question!! >=(
1. Oh f*** she's crying again!! haha 2. Stop worrying about how you'll fall for every guy you start going out with. Just have fun. 3. Yellow 4. You're very easy to talk to, and the perfect cure for a boring day. 5. Sending me Westlife songs through IRC. (Why was I listening to westlife?!) 6. A pony! (Animal farm. Mollie, mollie mollie! haha.) 7. What are you planning to do after you graduate?
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By the by, here's a fun little song from Monty Python.
I Like Chinese Eirc Idle/Monty Python The world today seems absolutely crackers, With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high. There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger. It's depressing and it's senseless, and that's why... I like Chinese. I like Chinese. They only come up to your knees, Yet they're always friendly, and they're ready to please.
I like Chinese. I like Chinese. There's nine hundred million of them in the world today. You'd better learn to like them; that's what I say.
I like Chinese. I like Chinese. They come from a long way overseas, But they're cute and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please
I like Chinese food. The waiters never are rude. Think of the many things they've done to impress. There's Maoism, Taoism, I Ching, and Chess.
So I like Chinese. I like Chinese. I like their tiny little trees, Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.
I like Chinese thought, The wisdom that Confucious taught. If Darwin is anything to shout about, The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt.
So, I like Chinese. I like Chinese. They only come up to your knees, Yet they're wise and they're witty, and they're ready to please.
All together.
[verse in Chinese] Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.) Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.) Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.) Ni hao ma; ni hao ma; ni hao ma; zaijien! (How are you; how are you; how are you; goodbye!)
I like Chinese. I like Chinese. Their food is guaranteed to please, A fourteen, a seven, a nine, and lychees.
I like Chinese. I like Chinese. I like their tiny little trees, Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.
I like Chinese. I like Chinese. They only come up to your knees...
