Tuesday, November 20, 2007
A discourse on reason (edited)
They say, the duty of a leader is to ensure the safety of the men. They also say that a leader is in a position to facilitate a process.
So why am I at such odds trying to consolidate the two of them?
I feel obliged and concern for my guys, and the matter of utmost concern is their welfare, or at least that is the predominant sentiment these days. I reckon I developed this sensitivity towards the end of my stint in NS, this soft-spot for the guys, people I've mentored, whom I've taken under my wing. That is quite a far cry from the me whose only concern was the objective.
It was a change for the better, spurned on by my mentor's words. Chye Ping he asked me once, "What do you look for in a team?" I believe my answer then was "achieving the objective". He disagreed, and he shared his formula, "team-building", adding that I was like a dictator.
Well, I've changed since then, perhaps too much. Lately, the realization that this obsession with zero attrition, and the absolute welfare of the guys is becoming counter-productive. Too soft, too weak, too unassertive. Little do they understand it's all with their interests and welfare in mind. Yet, there is validity in their unhappiness. There's no direction, in other words, it's like boarding up the room to prevent any attacks. Isolation.
If a leader goes nowhere, then, well, he's not leading is he? He has to go somewhere.
I guess, I'm on a journey to discover that key to this little struggle of mine.
Even though it was a struggle dating back longer now than it seems. The past year has been unkind, locating the psyche and mind in struggles and palces it was reluctant to go. Who was to say it was back then, then again, I knew.
I faltered and gave in to conformity, now I reel back at the high price on one's sanity and being.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Well, I used to think that being an executive required you to care for your guys. I do not doubt the wisdom of those words, but perhaps, the execution was not carried out in the right manner. Who in the world thinks that there can be no loss of "life"?
I did.
It sounds rather immature and slightly foolish. Micro-managing, they call it. It demonstrates, a distrust in the guys, and it indicates that I have no faith in them.
Or is it because I don't even trust myself?
First, know what you want, then perhaps you can achieve it.
Micro-managing. It was in words all along. I should pay more attention and be more firm with my views. Damn conformity.
Gavin
pondered @ 23:20
