Sunday, May 13, 2007
yadda yadda
Some events in our lives leave a mark, some leave scars, and some of these hurt. Little nips, stings, the bruises and cuts, and the anguish of having steel driven through vital pulsating organs. The natural human reaction to pain is withdrawal, and having learnt a lesson, avoidance.
Definitely, one gets hurt, one won't be particularly fond of that sensation, and one would not like to ever experience it again.
So sometimes, we run away. Away from situations and circumstances likely to result in any sort of damage. Logical option that is, running away. Doesn't come with the hurt and much simpler an undertaking. I'm rather fond of that specific otpion. When I run from things, I don't just keep a distance, I cover up the tracks, paint over the paths and make sure I have a 10 mile lead; all just because I'm good at it. A predisposition to running complimented with the natural gift of the gab, makes exiting a crime scene a breeze.
However, wise old men with greying beards make it a point to remind young men that "you can run but you can't hide".
I have walked from a fair share of potential troubles, hopeless messes waiting to happen. There is one that I've been running from for a good 3-4 years. It's catching up with me. In that time, I might have gotten new skills, new experiences, and old flaws made less glaring. Oh baby, time to swing for the fence
Problem is, what was it I was running from all this time? Too much fantasy and lies blurred reality. I can't tell where the real ends and the fake takes over. The scary part is, I'm starting to believe the same lies that I recount to the bystanders.This is big, this is really big, and quite bad. Sorry Santa, I've been a really bad boy. Please don't put coal in my sock this christmas.
The thing I have neglected to explain is that running away comes with its own bag of demons. Regret, remorse and "what could have been". More importantly it forces the question "what about the other party(s) feelings?" In the best of cases, its put on cold storage, in the worst, they get hurt. (Maybe in those rare days, they are better off)
So lesson learnt? One must face one's problems, and be true to one's heart. Live without regret and without remorse. Be proud of your own decisions and stay true to them. Don't be afraid of failure and Carpe Diem!
Gavin
pondered @ 20:51
