Sunday, April 09, 2006
The Devil's words
I wonder.
Is it that there is no one I can talk to, or is there no one who wants to listen?
Could it simply be because i refuse to open up?
A dark, dark soul. Not evil, just dark. Who dares to befriend this Devil, I ask?
The devil's heart with an affinity for pain and suffering, condemned to hell, slowly working a path to redemption. Not worthy of love or worthy of care, wishing the whole world well if I could just bear its pain on my shoulders. Let me take it all away, and leave you in joy and peace. Then I think; who will continue bearing that weight after I am gone.
The devil in me thinks too.
We work as a team. Together. But I cannot possibly repay anyone. I have nothing to offer in return, but pain and sadness.
They said that Devils never will cry, then why do I tell you that I do? I have nothing to offer in return, nothing to present as reciprocal. I know not of this 'gratitude' or its meaning.
In other words, nothing worthy of concern to anyone else. It is unreasonable to ask anyone to care for a Devil. It would require the patience of an Angel.
Yet, how can a Devil possibly take in an Angel's words with his inconceivably arrogant pride? Can the Devil understand the Angel's foreign words, and not pretend to listen? Can the Devil afford to allow, and trust the Angel with his soul?
Most people give up on me. And tell me, do Angels still exist? Would they give up on me too?
The Devil's heart in me refuses to believe that the greatest strength lies outside myself. Too proud, too arrogant and too full of myself. However, I know that my heart refuses to submit.
This is simply ridiculous. A ludicrous and cruel joke, that is being palyed on me. If I'm so sure of my own abilities, why do I even need anyone else?
Gavin
pondered @ 22:06
