Monday, May 02, 2005
Darianne
I am supposed to come up with sketches of Darianne.
I am supposed to develop the story between Gareth and Darianne.
However, the pen lingers over the paper, and the pencil stops before it makes a mark.
When an artist finds himself lacking in inspiration, hefeels vexed, but this is worse. Lack of inspiration is temporary. This feeling... It makes me feel utterly lost. Where I can't even draw the first stroke.
Then, everything that comes out is imperfect, flawed, and ugly.
The female form eludes me. Darianne eludes me.
Back when she had no name, she was the "perfect" girl. Perfection did not need any personification, it was an unsaid agreement, therefore, there was no need for an embodiment of Gareth's other half. You could also say that I was afraid to draw or atempt to describe her. She simply came to be known as Lady Death. Back then, when the female race was infallible to me.
Of course, it became evident that it was pointless. What was the point of art existing if reality was perfect? Same applied to Lady Death. If she was perfect, what is her motivation to exist? Perfect is boring. Thus Lady Death had no narrative value to speak of.
Thus, layer upon layer, flaws and emotions were added to her. A past started to form, which interactd with Gareth's existence, changing the direction of the story in very subtle yet interesting ways. As it was, I found that Gareth slowly became more humand, and weak. Same applied to Lady Death.
Then perhaps the biggest mistake or the greatest stroke of genius was the naming of Darianne. I must admit that I did not give her a name. That in effet made Darianne not entirely my creation. Which to my delight added a new dimension to he. The element of misunderstanding. It forced me to remember that Darianne cannot conform to whatever the narrative dictates. Instead, she will fight against it.
Why a mistake? The very same "gift" presented it's own range of problems. It makes writing hard, and slower because there was one too many considerations. In addition, it made drawing her an absolute nightmare. No matter what I have designed and sketched, it has never even been half of what she is expected to be, because that expectation is not just mine. Gareth, I will make him who he is regardless of opinion, because I know who Gareth is supposed to be. Darianne on the other hand was not.
Sometimes, I even feel like pushing Darianne t someone else. To let someone else write her into being, because I know that my fondness for these two characters would inevitably lead to boring, sappy love stories.
Gavin
pondered @ 15:47
