Monday, April 11, 2005
Listen boy. You have much to learn.
Met with Ying Mei today. Was supposed to buy CDs at HMV, BUT, they did not stock any of them.
Spent most of the day at Kino - Taka, Kino - Liang Court, then Kino - Taka again. Quite a leisurely day and rather enjoyable. (Lazy bum strikes again. Here's her
summary)
Mei did say two things today, that really left a deep impression.
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Mei:
If you won't sacrifice everything for equality. won't that make you a hypocrite?
What she said was chillingly heavy, and ultimately true.
Would I sacrifice everything for what I believe in? That question is a simple one, yet I cannot give a clear answer. What am I fighting for? What will I give my all for?
I know who I want to be, that has been occupying my time, but curiously, for what and why?
The preoccupation with trying to establish my individuality has created my person, and, there remains the purpose.
For what. For who. Why. I want to find out.
It's not sufficient to say what I do is for a value. If I do, then the question is, why that value? To quote a value without undestanding, that is moreso a sin than not having a value. Blind belief is called obstinance.
It is especially bad when someone becomes so obstinate he ceases to listen. Instead, he only talks.
Then Mei said:
I don't deserve what I have. Seriously, I don't either.
Not after today. She's absolutely right. On what presumption can I surmise that I deserve whatever I have? That fallicious. My arrogance is unjustified. I mean what have I done to earn anything except for being born. Why then am I so proud of that? Why in the world am I mistaken into thinking I'm different from everyone.
Such belief is misplaced.
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She made me really listen. And think. Just think, without trying to refute.
So what if I can talk to the end of the world if not a single soul listened? I never considered that before. How bigotted of me.
Nothing changed really. Only my mind did.
How does she do it?
Gavin
pondered @ 18:01
