Tuesday, December 28, 2004
I'M BORED WITH LIFE!
Having nothing to do at camp, is the worst test of my sanity. I feel worthless. What's killing me is fr0m the inside and I cannot fathom how much longer it will have to be. My talents and abilities, are not being utilized, and a great waste if only they knew.
Let them go on stifling me, only, they will soon realize that they have lost out, not me.
Sigh... I want a girlfriend... At least she can bitch about her day to me. It kills time.
Killing Time: The Observatory
killing time killing time
don’t really know what to do?
sad is the man who lives by the sea
wasting time wasting time
watching as nothing goes by
sad is the man with an empty life
killing time killing time
long is the passage of time
sad is the man with an absent mind
beating time beating time
run as the wind goes by
sad is the man who is tired of life
so sad is the man
so sad is the man
sad is the man who lives by the sea
sad is the man who lives by the sea
killing time killing time
older the sea gets each day
sad is the man who has walked away
passing time passing time
never once stopping to stay
sad is the man who has lost his way.
What an excellent description of the little existential quandary I find myself in. Maybe it's a phase all NSFs go through? Afterall, we do not have a choice over what we do in NS. It's all a matter of psycological tests and subjective opinions formed of you as a person. Never have I seen a system more biased then this, going to the extent of having one and all categorized and labelled.
Crap.
Maybe Leslie found inspiration for this song through this little sick joke of a Singaporean system for excellence. Don't leave everything to the unknowns, make sure all is well planned and calculated. Then my friends, what is a life is only to be lived for a dictated path.
So what if I have everything, who cares? What I want is more than just that.
I can't keep deluding myself that I love this life. I can't. I want challenges, I want to do things without having to adhere to stupid rules. Hell... Send me on a rescue mission to Indonesia, I don't mind. Just relieve me of all the F***ing regimentation and spare me the bureaucracy.
Gavin
pondered @ 22:21
